PolarGirl
Forum Replies Created
-
Serzi, I figured you were dealing with some awful people and not just friendly touching. I’m sorry you’re in that environment currently. I hope you get some thoughtful advice from this thread that can help you sort this out.
Honestly, why not just try it? It sounds like you’ve made up your mind anyway. I would not recommend quitting your current job until you have found a better one. You don’t know if stripping will be better until you’ve given it a shift or two (or more). You might hate it! You might love it! You will never know until you try it, and none of the advice we give you will change that. So I say just try it for one night before you quit your current job. Also, I would say to think about a backup plan, because you can’t do that work forever. It is very difficult to budget on tips alone, and if you have a family especially it may be difficult to budget for job training that will move you into a career where you don’t have to deal with any of the bs you’re dealing with now and that hopefully you enjoy somewhat and can support a family on. I realize it’s very hard to see the long term when the present is so shitty. I hope that at least gives you something else to consider. Things will get better. Just figure out where you actually DO want to realistically be in five years, and make the choices now that are most likely to lead you in that direction. It may include stripping. It may not.
-
Serzi, I totally understand the things you are saying. I have felt exactly the same way at many points in my life, even sometimes now, in some ways.
I wonder what you mean when you say that coworkers touch you instead of asking you to get out of their way?
I ask because I bartend in a busy place, which means a handful of people in really close quarters – and it’s way too loud and too busy to ask each other politely to move aside twenty times a minute. We would never get anything done! We are moving around super quickly and the only way to avoid knocking each other over, tripping each other, etc, etc is to touch your coworker (in a totally nonoffensive place, like the back or shoulder) so that they know you are there.
Of course, everyone I work with is super genuine and 100% non-creepy, which makes a big difference. So I guess what I’m wondering is if you have a sensitivity to touch in general, perhaps due to some past experiences — because touch itself is not aggressive or threatening — or whether you’re just in a bad environment with creepos everywhere. If it’s the latter, I hope you can find a job or shift with good people who don’t make advances on you. You need to be in a good environment.
I would never tell someone not to strip (more power to ya!!!) but it will not help you in dealing with this kind of thing. Naturally the grabbing, joking, etc will only be worse and your opinions of men and other people in general will not improve. There are clubs that are better environments than others but the work being what it is, the environment is largely what it is in terms of male/female dynamics and objectification.
I’m currently in massage school and we talk a lot about touch in society and how touch is often so taboo. What is it about our own attitudes that make us think touch can only mean sex or violence? Sometimes it really does just mean, “I’m just letting you know I am here so we don’t run into each other and spill things, drop things, or hurt each other.”
-
I can’t wait to read this, Lucca! My Kines instructor liked to say our breathing actually begins with our psoas and walking begins with our diaphragm due to the fascial connection they have. A very cool thing to obsession about.
-
I started yoga watching the health network at age 16 and then doing Rodney Yee’s videos and then moving on to books before finally going to a studio regularly. Learning a bit before hitting the studio was helpful but I have to admit that regular yoga classes at the studio are the only thing that keeps me super motivated and committed to my practice. Good luck with your exploration of both yoga and pole. They are incredibly complimentary. I’m so excited for you!
-
On day 15: the torso twist (lol)💜
https://instagram.com/p/1dtZjfG3_p/ -
On my day 14: elbowstand pull-up!
https://instagram.com/p/1a9Eihm3-0/ -
Day 13: aerial body waves
https://instagram.com/p/1ZZGU1m30o/ -
I’m on day 11: leg show! Really trying hard to keep up with the beat here and also keep good strong form. This was a workout!
https://instagram.com/p/1UV5r6G36J/ -
Day 10: Basic plank 🙂
https://instagram.com/p/1RdlEem3wr/ -
Here’s my Day 9: Scissor climb!
-
What shoog said. They have about a dozen different colors and are good quality.
-
https://instagram.com/p/1MaVLnG3-j/
Here is my Day 8, the tuck invert. I tried to go as slow and controlled as possible. I am still one day ahead. I thought March 31 was April 1st, whoops. I hope that isn’t confusing other people that I’m posting day 8 on day 7 and on and on, every day.
-
You can see a tiny sliver of light on my right vertical split…and I look pretty uncomfortable there, which is weird because I’ve always been way closer to my right vertical split than any other. I hadn’t done any flexibility training in a couple of weeks and then last night after my strength training session and some stretching I just knew tonight was the night. I dropped down into my normal end range for middle split and then was like, hmmm, I think I can just sit down. And I did! I rolled back and forth to make sure I was actually in a middle split and I was! So then I thought, I’m gonna get my vertical split tonight too. So I tried my bad side first…and I got that too! It seriously just happened one day after lots of trying and feeling like it never would. So excited and motivated!!!
-
Ummmm…so…last night THIS happened:
(!!!)
-
Day 6 of SV April Challenge: Basic Invert!
https://instagram.com/p/1Hg0uDm3-R/ -
Well, the questions themselves introduce bias because the survey is structured around negative perceptions. The introductory questions even, for example, were not positive things. The survey could just as well have asked how strongly I agree with the following: “I am an extremely thoughtful person”, or, “I am a productive member of society”, or, “I make good choices for myself”…you get the point. From the get-go the underlying assumption is that pole dancers exhibit poor decision-making skills or are thoughtless. My point is, why not present the positive side of whatever you’re trying to measure and let people disagree with the statements? Surely you catch my point about the wording of the questions. I think a far, FAR more interesting study would be to construct a second survey using the same questions in the inverse…so questions that are entirely positive, as I mention above (you had a couple, such as, “I think pole dancing is empowering”) – and let people DISAGREE if they have negative stereotypes – and then compare the results of the two. As a Sociology student you must know that the way you word questions dramatically affects the responses you will receive. I just do not feel that your questions did not introduce bias – even while I realize that you yourself do not have a negative attitude about pole.
Very thought provoking, thank you.
-
On a side note, I suspect the student investigator might actually be a pole enthusiast, given that she chose this topic. I have a minor in Soc, which by no means makes me an expert, but I do understand how difficult it can be to come up with survey questions that actually measure what you’re trying to measure – and moreover, to get a professor (who probably doesn’t Have a very nuanced view of pole dancing) on board with where you are trying to go with it.
I reacted strongly because I have very strong opinions about the topic based on my own experiences.
💗💗💗 -
Tropical, I agree. I completed the survey. It was excruciating. I felt like the survey itself was shaming me for my pole participation. Can you believe those intro questions meant to identify risky/impulsive behaviors!? One was something along the lines of, “I do things I know are bad for me because they’re fun.” What. The. Hell. And that’s not even the worst of it.
This survey has some major built in biases in the questions that are asked and definitions that are (or aren’t) given. This is the nature of Sociology. How can you say grace and strength and sexiness are mutually exclusive? Ever met a man (or woman) who was attracted to strong women? (Or vice versa?) Don’t think grace and ease of movement are sexy? Get your head checked. What is “sexy” then, exactly? Some people think shyness and subtlety are sexy rather than overt advances. Can women ever win? We will be accused of being “sexy” no matter how hard we try to cover overselves up and hide ourselves. HELLO!! Sexuality is a part of life and a part of every individual. Get over it! I wrote about how women taking back pole dancing for themselves is a wildly feminist act, and so is expressing sexuality in a way that isn’t intended to gratify men. But just because a movement isn’t overtly sexual doesn’t make it not sexy. My mind is exploding by the stupidity of the assumptions at play here.
Unbelievable! By the way, I think you (Venners) are all sexy! I admire your strength (inner and outer) and courage at taking this pole journey despite all the people out there throwing stones and hunting witches. Pole on.
-
@Allyson Kendal – ahhh. I didn’t even realize my IG was set to private? I know I had it set to public. I changed it. Also, I guess I’m so new to IG I have no idea how to accept people as followers. I will definitely figure it out and accept you! I followed you by the way. It seems like we are working on a lot of the same level stuff right now 🙂
-
Still one day ahead … Day 4: “the switch”!
https://instagram.com/p/1BqYG6G32l/
I love this challenge. Super motivating! I’ve been all over the pole/floor today 🙂
-
I figured I’d hit stay one day ahead so I’m still posting everyday. Maybe on the last day I’ll try to come up with something else to throw down. Anyway: Day 3…body rolls!!! Please ignore my boyfriend making fun of me and one of my male roommates walking by in the background. I don’t have the most pole conducive environment lol 🙂
https://instagram.com/p/0_88RSG31M/ -
@Lucca Valentine:
I love reading your posts! I am in massage school and also studying for personal trainer cert. Training core both sides IS super important, and that’s why I train both sides with every pole move (except when freestyling, where that’s all out the window) because pole utilizes the deep core so much. But for people who do have asymmetries in muscle tone in the muscles groups of the torso, working both sides equally is likely never going to balance that out. That’s why seeing a qualified physical therapist or other professional who is skilled in body assessment is so important; they can customize a workout plan to help balance your body. If you are asymmetrically toned, they are likely not going to assign a symmetrical training regimen until the imbalance has improved considerably. This may take time. Many of us come to pole with imbalances already locked into our posture – especially since we are the first generation to see pole become more acceptable so that younger people might begin training this form of dance. My point is that many of us are older than the average dancer. Now that I am starting to get into more advanced levels of pole I have not been able to work around my imbalances anymore without addressing them with deep structural bodywork. I recommend that any serious pole enthusiast work with a qualified therapist who can assess and advise them. -
https://instagram.com/p/08U7gEm3wb/
Full flag for a split second! Will have to work hard on my hang time! 😃
-
https://instagram.com/p/08BoGJm39U/
Day 2! Hahah! I just realized today is not April 2…and yesterday was not April 1…😄
Oh well, looks like I’m a wee bit ahead of the game. I’m new to IG (I seriously joined just to participate more seriously this month) so I’m just figuring out how to copy the clips over here correctly, doh.
Anyway, flag was freaking hard. This clip was actually my first time even getting up in half flag. I can’t say it enough: this is hard!!!
Thanks for the challenge, Veena!
-
http://instagram.com/p/06hGKkG330/
Day 1 of SV April Abs Challenge: knee tuck!
