[KristaCNH]

Regarding why they are like this… certainly it must depend on the guy, but for mine I suspect it’s a combination of him not seeing the artistic value of pole and having a perception of the culture as… maybe silly or something. I think he doesn’t envision himself with a girl who would ‘waste her time’ doing something … ‘silly’ like pole dance etc. That’s just my guess. I think they should all be forced to take a class … 🙂

[KristaCNH]

Wow I can’t believe it’s been two years since I originally posted this! Thanks for asking & i apologize in advance for what I’m sure is a TMI answer! We are still dating believe it or not & he has gotten better, but in complete honesty his attitudes have probably had a pretty significant effect on the trajectory of my pole journey 🙂 For the worse. I did my first big competition a couple months after I posted this & the very day i was so excited to have created my submission video we went out and he was cold to me like he never had been and we temporarily split up. I made the competition, and was so stressed about the relationship the whole summer preceding it, it sort of ruined the excitement and motivation etc, but i still tried. A few days before the event he insisted to paint my deck with me. The timing was bad, but I let it happen & then not only did I not practice those days… I was poisoned by paint thinner & later found out I had near acute kidney failure & elevated liver function tests. Needless to say I felt like crap the whole week & was nauseated and vomiting pretty much the whole time. I thought I was okay for the competition but didn’t do a very good performance, at least for me. He watched and the whole thing was like a self fulfilling prophecy of disaster where I felt like I was a complete idiot in front of everyone and it confirmed his opinion of me & pole… that I shouldn’t do it. Or something like that. And since then I’ve been slowly digging my self esteem out of the garbage! 🙂 It wasn’t his fault exactly that that happened… but I saw other sig others and how excited they seemed for their performers and it just made me feel strange. Recently I had been accepted into a big competition that he was pretty supportive about (sweety you’ve gotten a lot better… I still hate pole, but you are really good etc etc… you should do it etc.) I really don’t think he ever realized 1. how much I wanted to pursue it at first and 2. how much his attitude made me conflicted and dissonant and just low.

So … sorry again for the long answer, but it felt kind of good to get to say it 🙂

[KristaCNH]

I think it looks lovely already! And disclaimer: I’ve only done this move myself a couple of times. Having said that I think it looks nicest when you use your more flexible arabesque leg as your outside leg. It usually pulls up higher & gives a more arched appearance.

[KristaCNH]

I agree with Lina that pole handstands should not take that much strength. A lot of people are just really uncomfortable getting their hips over their shoulders, and that alignment is important for the efficiency/ease of the move. Someone earlier mentioned that there are lots of exercises that lead up to handstands that you could practice safely.

Regarding the instructor’s behavior I’m sorry… it does sound like she put you on the spot unnecessarily & didn’t really have answers for you. Instructors are just people, though… it doesn’t excuse it, but maybe she was having a terrible day too…? Traveling, tired, felt like an idiot because she couldn’t think of how to help you? Just a thought. In the US because of the popularity of pole, there are more and more people instructing & doing workshops that … are not particularly qualified with much background. Idk if this is the same there, but I never forget that instructors are just people and they may or may not have anything to teach you 🙂 Please don’t be discouraged by this one bad day/bad interaction!

[KristaCNH]

Was just looking at this again … and I’m sure someone has already mentioned it, but moves are different depending on who is doing them of course 🙂 Some bodies are suited to some moves etc. I also love the spatchcock Grayeyes, especially when it’s done well!

[KristaCNH]

I think I’ve always been drawn to big pretty moves… and then neglect the necessary intermediate transition type moves. Also… I know it’s a great thing & everyone does it ad infinitum, but the brass monkey… I just … it does not appeal to me. : )

[KristaCNH]

Just became aware of this competition a few days ago … sounds like fun – does anyone know who organizes or how many people they allow in each division. thanks!

[KristaCNH]

I really appreciate that most of you seem to have the opposite feeling from mine about the song issue! The general impression I’m getting is that as long as you bring your own effort/style to it and don’t borrow the other person’s choreography etc. no one really cares if you duplicate a song. Does anyone out there seeing this not feel this way? I really like this song in part because it’s the sort of piece of music you can use to create an actual piece of meaningful dramatic art, rather than a sort of caricature. So we’ll see … but Phoenix, I don’t think I want to do mine at the same event as yours 😉

[KristaCNH]

needs some refinement… … thanks again for helping me find it! Getting your shoulder in front quickly while weight is on the bottom leg is really important!

[KristaCNH]

Okay … not as pretty as hers … but …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_pVKUeIv04&feature=youtu.be

[KristaCNH]

Yes! Tropicalpole, thank you!!! That’s it! It looks like she does an outside leg hang to genie type move first. I think the key is to get your torso in front before the bottom leg straightens & do it all very fast! Thanks!!

[KristaCNH]

It’s a vertical split w both legs on the pole and torso upright w one shoulder in front of the pole & top leg. It is a pretty flexi move …. will try to get a pic up tomorrow. Thanks!

[KristaCNH]

Thanks for that!… I wonder how ignored I would be if I contacted them directly… 🙂 It’s interesting – being an athlete who is an adult with a (nonpole) career etc rather than a 20-yr old just starting out in life.

[KristaCNH]

Sometimes I’ve wished for a category that requires you to be at least an *average* sized human being : ) It’s much harder for a 5’8″ 130 pound person to throw herself around a pole than a 4’10 85 pound person… the body types we typically see winning lots of competitions. If you don’t believe me open a physics book!

[KristaCNH]

Thank you both!  Exactly what i needed 🙂

[KristaCNH]

Sorry to hear you've had a difficult time – and now with a surgery on top of it.  <3  I agree quite a bit with Runemist & Zzzzzz that medicating many mental 'disorders', particularly 'personality disorders' is less evidence-based than you might expect.  Currently no medications are approved by the FDA as effective for borderline pd, while some types of nondrug therapy do have supporting evidence.  That doesn't mean quetiapine isn't going to help, but as Zzzzzz stated, it can be a bit of a crapshoot.  Regarding therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy isn't so much 'therapy' as learning tools to change how you think and behave to get different outcomes & stop negative emotional-thought patterns.  There are also natural & nutritional angles to consider as well like Shelbsy said – in fact there is some evidence for Omega 3 fatty acid supplementation specifically for Borderline as well as niacin, for other possibly related mental-emotional concerns.  You should do more research obviously – but this is just a starting point.  I'm not opposed to drug therapy – I'm a pharmacist!  But it's important that you are getting the best therapy to really help you, rather than you being a guinea pig or being in a sense sedated to the point of losing awareness of problems.  Good luck recovering from surgery & being well!

[KristaCNH]

http://pilates.about.com/od/pilatesexercises/tp/First-10-Classic-Exercises.htm

That has a basic list at the bottom in addition to the 10 highlighted.  I prefer working the lower core so I like anything where your legs move with the rest of your body very quiet.  This includes leg circles (single & double), single leg stretch (which also has variation w/straight legs), double leg stretch.  I would start w/ 'the hundred' or 'rolling like a ball' to warm up and then do a couple 'roll ups' to articulate the spine & then go to the legs.  There is a variation I like to do that's a long set but sort of hard to explain!  Maybe i'll post a vid… otherwise, just those simple exercises are a good start.  Really pull the navel to the spine during the movements & try to not move the upper body at all while the leg(s) move.  I'm not a certified Pilates instructor btw!  Have just done it myself 🙂

[KristaCNH]

There is already great advice here … one side note i wanted to mention:  please try to do pole moves on both sides.  I know this seems obvious, but lots of people don't do this – including me 🙂  I am very flexible naturally, but after training asymmetrically for a month and a half I realized my back had become really stiff & always felt tense.  Even if you only do things once on your 'bad' side for every 3 times on your 'good' side… you'll be doing yourself a favor!  Plus if i had to pick one strength exercise to complement pole it would be Pilates working the deep lower core under the navel & below.

[KristaCNH]

I also find back stretching – back bending in particular – helps my middle split.  I think back bending warms you up really well, and releases a lot of tension held in the lower back & even hip flexors (bc the hip flexors stretch in many backbends too.)

The other thing to help splits of all varieties is pilates (or similar) – really isolating the lower core deep under the navel and below.  Be careful because some Pilates classes are really just random core strengthening exercises.  If you can really focus on that lower core, it leaves the rest of your body free to be loose & relaxed.  Your legs will flop all over the place! : )

[KristaCNH]

Charley is soo right about tummy up – even just slightly helps, but more is better.  If you look at even the best women in the world doing an iron x it's usually cheated upward a few degrees at least.  I remember trying this a few times totally sideways and feeling lost, but as soon as i tried it tummy up (so your abs can do the work) it felt almost easy.  Another thing is making sure you get your hips far enough away from the pole when starting out, which can maximize the push pull effect of your arms.  Everyone's body is a little different so you have to figure out where your body has the 'best physics'.

[KristaCNH]

Wow… thank you so much for that very thoughtful response!  You're definitely right that not everyone is going to appreciate all art forms or activities.  I try to remember that.  Maybe part of it is ego… I like being appreciated for some of my unique abilities like anyone else… & I guess it both surprised me & sort of hurt me that he just doesn't really care that much what acrobatic/stretchy/dancy things i can do :).