DedeJoy
Forum Replies Created
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Point out that one pole one time is way cheaper than an ongoing gym membership.
Unless you guys are just barely not starving to death, I don’t see why y’all can’t budget for a pole savings fund, setting aside maybe $10 a week. Is there some luxury (fancy coffee or something) that you could give up and use that money?
Hell, set up a kickstarter or gofundme page. All you need is ten Studio Verners to donate ten bucks. 😉 -
A. Pole is 10% figuring out what to do with your body, 30% building up the strength to pull it off, and 60% getting used to the pain. You may just be in the 30% part.
B. clean pole, clean hands and warm up.
C. Invite your friends from the studio over to play so it gets all scuffed up and wiped down a gajillion times. -
I usually just break off something that's fairly easy for me to pull off, looks impressive, and doesn't require a lot of warm up, nor stripping down to stick. Butterfly would be my go-to show off trick.
Thought you guys would like this story: So a friend of mine whom I only knew from the internet was passing through my town and I'd offered to let him stay at my house on his way through. I promised him a little performance. As I had just come from teaching my class, I was still in my pole skivvies and already warmed up. I grabbed my towel and started wiping the pole down and just as I was about to climb up and wipe the top part off, he jumps off the chair and offers to wipe down the top foot or so for me. "Do you need help with the top? I can get that for you."
I laughed out loud right in his face and told him to sit down. I thought, "You have never actually seen anyone pole dance, have you? You have NO IDEA what I'm about to do." I said, "I got this, I promise. Thanks for the offer." About two seconds later, his jaw was on the floor and he was all WOW, as they do sometimes. All I did was a beginner routine; it hardly had anything tricky in it, but he thought I was AMAZING. So little effort for such great payoff. 😉
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I just spent the last 30 minutes learning about penises. Thanks, firebird. That was enlightening! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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I was on Depo for ten years. For me, it caused about 1-2 pounds a year of weight gain and beyond that, no negative side effects. However, everyone is different.
I'm currently on my second Mirena IUD and I have never had children. There is a very minor risk of uterine perforation, but it doesn't cause any pain (unless it pokes through your uterus). Getting those things put in is very painful, but after a few minutes, it's over and you get five years of worry free bonin'. ;>D
For me, I prefer the Mirena — fewer hormones as I am past the age where a bunch of hormones is okay for me. The pill is contraindicated for me because I'm a smoker over 40.
Just talk to your doctor, read all the brochures, do your homework. I'm sure you'll make the best decision for yourself.
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Well, I'm glad you've made a little progress for now, but it still seems very controlling that he has all these constraints and rules he wants to put on you about it. And as long as he's paying for your classes, you are giving him that power to call those shots.
My suggestion is to pay for your own classes, then post pix and vid wherever the hell you want to. If you simply can't afford to and you insist on allowing him to pay for your classes, then you will have to suck it up and obey any rules he lays down about it. Be prepared for there to be more rules and stricter rules as your skill improves. He will tighten the thumbscrews every so often as long as you're still letting him think he's in charge of you. I can't recommend strongly enough the value of paying your own way so you can be in charge of yourself.
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I vote for "be 100% completely, totally, up front and honest" about this. Sit him down and lay it out one. more. time. This is what I do, for reasons that are about me. I don't do it for attention, or money, or fame, or glory, or for tips. 😀 If you can't be supportive and understand what this is about for me, then I'll do better with it on my own.
It's possible that, if he realizes that you take it so seriously, you're willing to torpedo the relationship over it, he might also begin to take your poling seriously. He might also just be one of those guys who refuses to un-sexualize it. That may never change.
My opinion is that it appears he does not respect you as an adult who is capable of making your own decisions. Right now, you're kind of letting him drive your choices for you. Ask HIM to hold the camera and take some video for you. Then watch it with him and let him listen to you critique yourself, i.e., "Oh, I should have extended my leg more," or "Oops, need pointed toes there," or "Oh, I've almost got that one, but I need to keep my right hand a little higher." Maybe he needs to see you picking it apart as a discipline, and not just catching video so you can post it on Facebook like some kind of attention whore. Most of us get plenty of attention over this without having to troll for it, ya know? :>)
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I love how all these beautiful, talented polers are also obviously smart, savvy women who have all got it going ON. Y'all are awesome!
I'm an editor for a major international educational publishing firm. I rearrange commas all day. :>)
I was recently hired by my studio to teach pole, so I'm now teaching pole conditioning and beginner pole classes.
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I worked on mine for so long, I pinched a nerve in my shoulder. Couldn’t feel three of my fingers for a couple months. 😀
Yes, it goes away and won’t hurt anymore after a while.
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I use mention of poling as a litmus test to determine who is interested in me as a person and who is interested in banging a stripper. I'm not a stripper, but I'm not really very vocal about saying that because I don't think there's anything wrong with being a stripper.
What I find happens, very often, is you're having a perfectly polite respectful conversation and the minute the word "pole" comes out of your mouth, some people feel like they have to start treating you like a cheap whore. There's nothing wrong with that either, except the respect just flew out of the conversation. Suddenly, I'm talking to someone who has no more questions for me other than, "Can I watch?" (I once had a contractor spot the pole in my house and asked me, "Hey! Tell me about what you do for a living?" I looked right at the pole, then back at him and said, "I'm an editor. What do you want to know?" "You're not a stripper?" "Nope. Were you interested in editing, then?" :: crickets chirp :: Dede LOLz.)
If I do finally break down and let a date watch, in my experience, the first couple times they're all into it and after a while, they barely notice. We've gotten the girls together for at-home pole jams and I notice the boyfriends and husbands getting bored and gazing longingly at my Wii. LOL
The people who are into you as a person will not change how they treat you when they learn of your favorite hobby. If anything, they'll respect the athleticism and appreciate the art involved. The people who are into you just because they want to bang you reveal themselves very quickly and I tend to ditch them to the curb faster than a spiral spin. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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I have pretty significant hearing loss, so when my pole instructor started teaching me fan kicks, I thought she was saying "pancakes" and I thought that was the stupidest name ever. One day, I heard her say it when the music wasn't so loud and, you know, *face palm* We still have a good laugh over that one.
So my first tip is: please turn the music down a little bit when you're explaining or introducing tricks. That is one of the biggest impediments to understanding for me because the music is competing with my instructor's voice.
Also, try to face her when you're speaking. Sometimes, that's not so easy. Often, I will physically move closer to her so I can either hear or see her face — IF it's something that's so tricky, I actually need to hear what she's saying. Sometimes, I just glance over, see what we're doing and get to work.
The main thing is, she's aware that I can hardly ever hear her, so she doesn't get offended if I don't respond when she's talking to me or if I totally misunderstand a question she asked me.
You could try signing if you both know ASL, but that would be pretty unusual. I wouldn't worry about taking ASL classes or anything. She has some hearing (like I do), so try to be concious of competing noises (like the music), try to face her, and if you have to, move right over to her — like a foot away — and repeat yourself just for her. Make sure she feels comfortable coming over to you for additional explanation if she feels like she missed something. Should be okay and it's very kind of you to look for ways to accommodate her.
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You know, beanie, it never occurred to me until this thread that old hip injury could be what's holding me up now. I bet you're right.
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Dwiizie, I had a great front split when I was 14/15. Until I came down with my body twisted one day and tore a bunch of ligaments in my right hip. That injury wasn't treated properly (a whole other parent thread) so it followed me around for years and years.
So, although I wasn't terribly athletic, I danced a lot and I know I could do it once upon a time. It just seems like it's taking so much longer as a middle-aged poler. I noticed that I didn't build strength up as fast as the younger women in my classes, so I'm working on the theory that all of it takes just a little bit longer when you get older. There's another woman in my class who seems to be somewhere between my age to maybe as much as ten years older, and I notice she gets hung on on the same tricks I get hung up on and usually, they are tricks that require extreme bendiness. We're both strong and we can both do most everything except these few tricks… Floating ballerina and allegra come to mind as examples. Funny, I can do a jade split, but it could be flatter.
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@ Marle777: My understanding is that we need body fat to produce enough estrogen to make our bodies build up uterine lining. Therefore, gymnasts, marathon runners, and other athletes who have next to zero body fat do not produce sufficient estrogen; therefore, dysmennorea occurs (your periods stop).
All males and all females both have three sex hormones: testosterone (relates to libido), estrogen (relates to menstruation), and androgen (don't know what that does). As we reduce body fat, we don't actually produce more testosterone, but the estrogen levels are so low the proportion of testosterone is higher than it would be if we were carrying around what would be normal body fat for females (I think around 20%). I believe you have to get down to something like less than 7% body fat to stop periods. And yes, anorexics/bulimics often suffer from this problem for the same reasons.
All that said, my advice is: listen to your body. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
When I broke my foot, I only stopped poling for about a week and then I did only inverted work where I didn't need my feet. (Side climbs, not straight up fireman climbs.) I got back to the floor work and spins after my foot healed. We can do the same thing with Aunt Flo: just do what feels okay during that time. But gymnasts and other athletes compete regardless of what time of the month it is, so it probably won't cause any sort of permanent damage, just might be a bit more uncomfortable… than usual. I mean, who are we kidding? Pole hurts under the best of circumstances. LOL
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I've been stretching 2-4 days a week for more than a year and a half and I'm still a good 4" off the floor in my front split. I am nowhere near the floor with my side split. I think my issue must be hip flexors.
I have a theory that it just takes longer as you get older and so I've given myself permission to not be as bendy as the 20-somethings in my class who can get their splits in 6 months. Anyone in this thread over 35 or 40 and find it's taking/has taken you longer than the younger polers?
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I think the yoga advice is because of the flow of Chi or some other such nonsense new age woo BS. If I have terrible cramps, I just don't feel like poling, but you can take an Advil and then just go for it. Do you think gymnasts don't compete when they have periods? No, they plug it up and get to work like anyone else.
I'm sure your Chi will be fine.
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I seriously think that male doctor thought you were too stupid and just thought you had an IUD. When he couldn't find it, he just gave you the new one. I would not go back to him, but I would definitely call his office and let him know. Doctors tend to think patients are stupid and I think that goes double for male docs with female patients.
Of course, I've been listening to too much MSNBC about men making BC decisions for we poor, stupid women, so I could be projecting my bias. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it now. I'm getting my second Mirena in about a month, so I will be sure to tell my doc (a woman) your story while she's down there. Give her something to think about. I might mention my good friend the personal injury attorney while I'm at it. LOL
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As a member of the studio where Hsiang teaches, I just have to say: YEA HSIANG! That was amazing. I am so proud of her! Way to represent for Art of the Catwalk! Wooot!
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I just found a ridiculous movie called "Somewhere." It's about a bored movie star who's trying to find something thrilling to fill his empty life. He drives around too fast in his Porsche, he drops stupid amounts of money in clubs and whatever… and every night, he orders these twin strippers to come over and do a duo pole dance for him. Their routines are so elementary and simple… it's quite hilarious. They actually pull off several decent beginner tricks, but they are not smooth really and the routines are kind of dumb.
I keep watching it over and over and fast forwarding to the pole scenes just for laughs.
Apparently the movie takes a turn for the serious about halfway through when the guy decides to adopt his 11-year-old son, but I couldn't be bothered to get that far. I'm too amused by the bad poling. Still, it's better than some of the pole in Dancing at the Blue Iguana…
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I'm not sure, but I'll share with you a tip that my BF gave me (he teaches Kung Fu, so it turns out, I'm actually doing Pole Fu! LOL).
He suggested, once you get into your handstand, that you rock back and forth from side to side just a little. Not enough to throw off your balance so you crash to the floor, but just enough to find your center. You soon learn how forgiving your handstand is and your body tells you what to tighten or relax in order to stay inverted.
If it's a strength issue, then one thing I do to condition for handstands: Start in your basic invert. Slide down to your handstand. Walk your hands out about one foot from the pole. Bring your chest down to just a couple inches above your hands. Push up and back like you're doing a caterpillar climb. It's basically an inverted push up, using your feet to hang on to the pole. Do about five or ten of those and then go work on your handstand against the wall. Worlds of difference.
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I should clarify. I was made aware of the risk of osteo and advised to take calcium supplements, which I did not do because I get in a lot of dairy. What I meant was, nobody said I had to come off it after five years. I'd even asked a couple times about long-term usage, so it's possible that was so long ago that the studies and literature weren't out or well known by then. No docs ever ordered a bone scan or suggested they saw signs of it at all. No family history of it, but there is family history of breast cancer, so I've been avoiding excess estrogen wherever possible.
I suppose this is another really great reason to keep poling: building strong muscles builds strong bones. Strength = good. Weak bones = bad.
LOL
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Thanks for sharing about the Keppra. So far, my BF hasn't had the side effects that badly. I think it does make him a little grumpier than usual, but I haven't seen the Keppra rage yet. He's only been on it about ten months. We're hoping he can step down the dosage and get off it completely within a year or two. Thank all the gods his sex drive seems to be just fine. No weight gain either, but then again, he works out six days a week, for at least 4 hours a day — teaches martial arts and is learning a new one (to him), so he's pretty ripped.
Good to know info, thanks again. And good luck with your BC quest.
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That's interesting. My BF has a seizure disorder resulting from brain surgery. Is there some reason you don't take Keppra or Dilantin? (If this is too personal, feel free to ignore. I was just curious if BC could help him. LOL)
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I was on Depo for ten years (from age 25 to 35) and loved it. The only negative for me was weight gain of about 2 pounds per year. Yes, that meant that I put on 20 pounds. Couple that with quitting smoking and you'll understand why I started poling: I'd put on 40 pounds! Which is all gone and now I weigh less than I did in college (from pole). Yea me. Not everyone can take Depo and the real disadvantage is: if you can't tolerate it, it's already in your system. There's nothing you can do about it until it wears off in three months. None of the docs required bone scans and nobody suggested the osteoporosis problem was an issue with me. I was also told it could be 6 months to a year before my cycles would return. No. The very next stupid month, I got my period. Grrr. I was all, "WHAT? I only got 23 days off? WTF?" Anyway, if your concern is weight gain, then I'd probably keep looking for something else.
Now I have a Mirena and love it. Mine is just about to expire, so I will be getting a new one in the spring (and I'll be 47 or 48 when that comes out, so hopefully it'll be my last). I had just about two very light 1-day periods and then nothing for the last five years. Once in a while, I'll spot a little bit, but that's not even worth a tampon. My body still goes through PMS symptoms (not badly though, but I've never had bad PMS) but I rarely bleed.
Nobody I've been with has been able to feel the wire/string thingy and I can't feel it myself whenever I go fishing to check for it. You're supposed to stick a finger up there once and month and feel for it to make sure it's still where it's supposed to be. I've never managed to find it, haven't bothered, and the doc isn't concerned about it at all. In fact, my OB/Gyn can't find it either. Sometimes they migrate a little bit. This will probably mean that removal will be tricky and a bit painful, but I pole dance; I have a very high pain tolerance. ;>) My point being, your doctor can trim it really closely so it can't be felt. I'll also say this: insertion is very painful, and disturbing your cervix by forcing dilation like that makes you not want to have sex for a while. It took me about three weeks before I was ready to get back in the saddle and even then, certain positions had to be done very gently and carefully. There was no slammin' monkey sex for about two months. Sorry if that was TMI, but I think you should get full details. ;>)
Regarding the Mirena and not having had children: My doctor told me that the risk is uterine perforation but that she's put hundreds of them into women who had never had kids and she'd never seen a uterine perf. That is extremely rare. Having your cervix dilated is what is so painful and the sounding they do when they measure the depth of your uterus. Use yoga breathing, hold the nurse's hand, go to your happy place… it's over in five minutes. They are also extremely expensive. My doc's office makes me pay cash up front so I got a price quote for my replacement next year and it's around $700 plus a $125 insertion fee, some of which my insurance covers, but not much. Insurance will cover the pill and depo but some insurances will not cover the Mirena. So the cost is a factor to consider, but you won't spend a dime on BC and you won't spend much on tampons/pads/what have you for the next five years after that so it evens out.
If you decide a Mirena is what you want, call around to different clinics to check on the price and check with your insurance company to see how much of what is covered. You should definitely do your homework with any form of birth control and remember: You are not the same as all other random women on the internet. Everyone is different and everyone tolerates different kinds of BC differently. Please take all our advice with many large grains of salt.
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@StudioVeena: Thanks! Just posted the pic on my profile. Still a little way to go to make it really flat, but I'm getting there.
