AriFerrari
Forum Replies Created
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AWESOME! First I've heard of Pole Aria! Pole + Silks = I'm in love! Thanks for sharing this!
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At first, my mom had her reservations. She still doesn't love the "sexy" aspects of pole. I made a mistake of taking her to what I thought would be a competition that turned out to be an amateur strip contest (boobies and all) that some girls I knew were in. Luckily, my mom is outgoing and we just kind of laughed it off. But it did leave a bad taste in her mouth about the "art" of it. I exposed her to less risque and more artistic pole stuff (Jenyne, etc.) She thinks that kind of pole is awesome. I've even taught her a few spins, but lost her at the idea of doing a "sexy pushup" (even though she still tried and rocked it!) She also worries if I post something "too sexy" online, but only because she worries about who will see it and about reprocussions. However, I think that's more of the mom in her than her dissing pole. Overall, she's supportive and encouraging when I show her new pole accomplishments. I'm very lucky in the mom department!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif
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On a side note, RM2012, I just want to say that I also have the utmost respect for you for taking responsibility and choosing to do the right thing for your children. Despite our varying ideas on the subject of legalization, I still have to give you props for making a conscience and successful effort to choose your children over old habits and yourself 🙂
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I agree with Chem on the parenting issue. Proposing that the government regulate pot use in order to "ensure" more responsible parenting is kind of approaching that issue sideways. Not to mention, when did it become the government's place to tell us what makes a "good" parent. I realize driving drunk with your kid in the backseat or physically/mentally abusing them is intolerable and the community should have the right to defend a child that essentially doesn't have the ability to do so for themselves, but as far as claiming that the use of marijuana will ultimately make a parent irresponsible and a bad parent is a bit extreme. I feel that negiligent parents should be held accountable for their own poor behavior rather than the "mind-altering" drug being their scapegoat excuse. Ultimately, it's not the drug's fault. If you chose to do something that you know makes you less attentive or involved than you should be, ultimately you chose to be those things (with or without the help of the substance regardless if it puts you in any state of mind.) It's not the government's job to play defense constantly, when we start expecting them to, we open ourselves up to them regulating aspects of our life that I think anyone would find to be intrusive (such as telling us "how" to parent.)
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Wow, you Veeners never cease to impress me with your rhetoric, nor your abilities to keep convos on hot button issues civil!
That being said, I have to chime in on this awesome feed! Personally, I tend to lean towards the libertarian belief system. I'm very big on "do as you will, so long as it harms none" idealism. That being said, I stand the same on marijuana use. I believe that it should be legal regardless of whether it's for recreation or health and regardless of whether we prove it to be beneficial or harmful to the user.
I don't believe that moral opinions should dictate laws, what should dictate laws is the preservation of each individual's right to live a free and individually fulfilling life. If smoking marijuana does this for someone, I say the government has no place to keep that from them. In fact, I really don't think that they have much right to regulate it at all. Except in the cases of DUI's, in which I believe should still exist because the dangers caused by driving under the influence can harmfully invade on other people's lives without their consent.
While I have read plenty of research and watched tons of documentaries on the pros of marijuana and personally do believe that it really is a versatile remedy and healer, I don't use that as my argument for legalization. Although, I do think that it's important to share that information so potential or current users could make an educated decision on whether to use it if marijuana were legal, I just don't think it should be neccessary to prove marijuana "good" or "bad" in deciding it's legality.
I mostly think that legalization should be less about the pros/cons and more about the freedom to choose what is right for us and our own bodies.
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I think it's awesome that the pole preformance that aired on So You Think You Can Dance fits the SV theme! Eliana and Tiffany performed to a song from the musical Chicago. Here is a link to the youtube video (although it's been posted on here in another forum, thought it might be inspirational for the ladies participating in this month's challenge!)
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I'm game too! I've been meaning to start a weekly stretch regimen, this for sure has me motivated to kick it in gear this week 😀
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Capfeb, I respect you and your boyfriend finding a comfortable compromise for you two. I understand that strip clubs can open up new possiblities for couples in their own sex lives and if that makes you both happy, I say go for it! Afterall, it's really all about what's best for you and your loved one 😀
Irmingard, "sensationalized" is the perfect term! I don't get the whole modern day concept of bachelor parties at all. I just think that if you are getting married, you should be out celebrating with your closest friends that you found someone to spend your life with. Not getting wasted and doing questionable things because it's your last chance to. I just don't get that mindset at all. But obviously, compared to like 80% of newlyweds, I'm in the minority there. Which is fine, to each his own..lol
As far as honesty and trust goes though, I truly believe my husband and I have the utmost of both in our relationship. We are completely honest and open with one another, we are best friends. I have no doubt that he would never do anything to break that if he were to go to the strip club, however I just still stand by the fact that I don't think my married man belongs in a place that openly exists to showcase women sexually. He's married, he has everything and more here at home. I don't say this because I feel threatened or badly about myself at all, its more because I respect myself, a lot, and I refuse to break boundaries in my relationship for the sake of appeasing someone else. I just feel like there's this idea that women should find a way to accept strip clubs because they are pretty much a societal norm now. As I mentioned, I'm cool with that. While my posts might make me sound like I really hate them, I don't. When I was single, I went to them with friends. They really weren't a big deal to me, they still aren't. However, I guess the bigger deal for me is doing what's right for me and my husband. He doesn't really express the desire to go, the idea of him going bothers me and so he doesn't.
I think this is an interesting convo though, I really appreciate everyone's opinions, even those that don't share my own. We have a lot of strong women on SV and I love it!
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Katana, no drinking outside of the clubs here. We live somewhere where the liquor store is closed on Sundays and you can't order a drink until after "church time" (noon.) My hubs is most likely going to join them for cocktails and bow out before the strip club, as the plan stands for now.
Saphyre, you're post made me laugh (at myself a little, even.) It's funny how different the two sexes interpret things, right? I had to laugh a little at how long my post was in comparison to how short your "man" response was. lol.
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Golgotha, I guess I worded that last question wrong. You and ninjachic are correct in saying that he has to be the one to handle the situation in the end. I don't/haven't stepped in to any situations like this and try to think that I leave it up to my husband. Partly why I vent here because I don't ever want him to feel like I'm saying "you are not allowed." And Ninja, I really liked what you said about him being the one to say HE doesn't want to go. I have told him before that he can "blame it" on me if it is easier, just because I feel guilty when he's stuck taking all the backlash, but you are right it's not just him who feels this way and I guess there's no need for me to be the scapegoat in that case.
I guess if the other groomsmen are jerks about it, that's on them and between my husband and his friends as Azblanco and Echo basically put it. I just wish that people were as accepting as all of you ladies seem about the varying ideas on the subject and differences in marriages/relationships in general.
Mkalis and Ninjachic, it's definitely interesting to hear it from your perspectives as dancers. Mkalis, I guess from my original post you could tell I was really skeptical of private dances lol However, you make a good point that there's no rule that he couldn't deny one. Yet, even considering that, just him being there does still make me uncomfortable after all. Plus, some of the things both of you mentioned about the more "relentless" dancers out there, or even prostitutes as you mentioned mkalis, is no news to me and yet another reason why I just don't feel like the strip club is no place for my husband. Not because I think he would indulge in those things, I just think it's not really worth the risk of some weird scenario coming up that wouldn't have had he not gone. Especially since neither of us are really crazy about him going in the first place.
It really "boils down" to what Echo said, it's all about you and your relationship. I just wish there were more people (namely a few groomsmen I know!! :P) who would understand that.
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Happy Birthday Veena! Thank you for creating a forum for all us to connect, learn, and share. SV has become not only a wonderful outlet for poledancers but one of the only social networking sites where there is more love and positivity than hate and meanness. All because you had such a wonderful idea! Hope you know how appreciated you are by so many! And of course that you have an awesome day <3
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Ooooh! I love Pinterest! Following those of you who posted links and here's mine:
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What in the world hahahaha https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
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Oh ok gotcha! Thanks Veena 🙂
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Veena knows best! 😉
Veena, quick question? How does a 45 mm benefit a taller dancer? -
I just got my Ayesha last week, so I'm no major source of info here. However, I had a similar issue when trying to learn. My shoulder was kind of popping in and out, no sound and no pain though. My instructor said it seemed like I was double jointed? I've always been able to kind of move my shoulder in and out weird, but it's never happened unintentionally until trying the Ayesha. She told me to stop relying on that arm to "hold me up" and I was told by her and several other sources to create a push/pull hold, the elbow being the pull and the bottom hand a push. I had to mentally readjust from pushing all my weight down on the bottom hand to pushing out with it. Idk if this will help your issue, but in experience it's what made the difference. When I made myself aware of that change mentally I finally got the ayesha I'd been working on for MONTHS. In one of my pictures you can see my bottom arm is a bit bent, where when I was having trouble it was stick straight and locked. Also, Sgirl told me to put grip on my elbow, that helped me a lot too!
Good luck and be very careful!
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Hey Sailor,
Have you ever tried poling or will your pole be the first you use? I ask because I think that diameter, finish, etc is kind of a preference thing.
I own and learned on a 50 mm. My home pole is a 50 mm Xpole Sport in chrome. The studio I workout at has both 50's and 45's. I tried a 45 for the first time last month. The major differences I observed were with the hand and leg grip, which is what you will hear commonly about the size difference. Hand grip is better on a 45, especially for smaller hands, however personally I found things requiring a lot of thigh grip (i.e. pole sits, CAR) to be more difficult. Also, I bruised as bad as when I started a year ago on the 45, I guess that may have been a readjustment thing though.
Also, take into consideration that 50 mm is usually the standard at competitions. If that's something that may interest you and you will only be working at home, you may want to keep that in mind when you purchase your pole. The instructor's pole at our studio is a 45 and my instructor told me recently that since she's been working on 45 mm for the last few months since it's been installed she now struggles with tricks on the 50 mm that she learned on a 50!
Finally, just a suggestion. If you have the extra money and are really dedicated to the idea of pole I'd invest in an Expert pole. When I started out I was intimidated by spin mode and thought I'd never even want to try it. Now that I've been doing it longer, I have been interested in spin and can only do it at the studio. Wish I would have just invested to have a spinning pole at home too. Keep in mind you can choose to be on static or spin with the Expert.
Also, you may want to search StudioVeena.com for more feedback on the different Xpole sizes, finishes, etc. There are LOTS of posts on this discussion.
Good luck on starting your pole journey <3
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Lindsay Love:
No boyfriend, husband, or any other kind of significant other has the right to "allow" you to do anything. You are a grown woman who can do as she pleases, and especially the things that make you feel fulfilled and happy. You also deserve respect and someone who admires everything about you, including your poling. True support isn't toleration of your hobby, it's encouragement and pride in your hard work and accomplishments. Anyone who gives you anything less doesn't deserve to be a part of those things. I would not tolerate my boyfriend thinking that paying for my classes or being in a relationship with him gave him the right to dictate for who/when/where/why I pole. AND I definitely wouldn't dance for him! He doesn't deserve it! That's extremely selfish and unfair considering his negativity towards your hobby in the first place.
I am not judging you nor can I truly judge your relationship without knowing you or your boyfriend, but from what you've shared I can say that you should definitely remember that the only person who can really choose your path and happiness is yourself, the people you bring along for the ride should deserve to be there walking beside you, not holding you back or dragging you somewhere.
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Ooohh! So excited! Already have some rockin' songs in mind <3
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Lola,
I have pretty wide feet and wear a size 10 in Pleasers comfortably. In most shoes I wear a 9 to 9 1/2 so i would say go up at least a half size. Also, when I got mine in the mail (a gift from my hubby) I freaked out because the clear plastic that fits around the top of the foot was super tight. Then I spoke to some girls at the studio and they told me that you have to blowdry the plastic to make it warm and stretchy and get the right fit. I had to do that the first few times I wore them but now they fit like a glove and I'm actually happy that they make them that way.
Good luck!
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Love it! But like teapartie, I'm concerned about my "pokey bits" (funny term hehehe) too. Can anyone tell if this has cups in it?
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Happy birthday Tigger! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif
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This is an abstract idea but I found this bathing suit the other day and I thought it looked perfect for a unique competition piece. It's a little pricey but it has all the POC showing and it's sexay!
http://www.sexyswimwear.com/store/images/items/fullsize/1609.jpg
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Lyme, I'm sorry that someone could be so hurtful. If she has a problem with pole or you, it's because SHE has a problem. Some people will take any opportunity to spread their hateful opinions, undoubtedly half of those making negative remarks have any idea what they are talking about. I agree with Veena, you're too good to bother with the nonsense. We need not make any excuses, justifications, or apologies for our hobby and passion! HUGS!
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AdAstra, welcome to SV! "Taking the plunge" and starting pole dancing has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. The strength, flexibility, confidence, and passion you will develop is amazing! Good luck starting your pole journey, see ya around 😀
