You know your a pole dancer when............

 
unicorn

 

[www.polexia.net] know you're a pole dancer when...



You know you're a pole dancer when....
- you are proud of your bruises.
- you can't find shorts that are short enough.
- you spend more time watching women pole dance than the man in your life.
- you hear a song and immediately rate it for pole compatability.
- you have spent any amount of time trying to convince someone that pole dancing is different than stripping.
- you find that your closet is slowly (or quickly) filling up with plastic shoes with 6 inch heels and plastic boots that range in height from ankle to thigh-high and previously, the highest heel you ever wore were 1 inch sturdy shoes.
- you've cleared everything you possibly can out of your family room to make space for your pole.
- your husband gets a huge grin on his face when you say you're going to work out.
- you walk past your husband in platform heeled black boots a bra and teeny shorts and he glances at you and then goes back to whatever he was doing.
- you're looking at every stop sign, lamp post, children's playground thinking, "I wonder if I can do a invert on that?"
- your kids are so familiar with pole moves from watching you watch YouTube obsessively that they can critique you pretty well when you're practicing. "Mommy, you should keep your back straighter when you do that!"
- you have to schedule life events (weddings, balls) around poling so you won't be bruised in pictures.
- you get ceiling height envy.
- you took the furniture out of the guest room to make a pole room and your company has to sleep on the couch.
- you assess the weather each day wondering how it will affect your grip more than to see what you should wear.
- you have to explain to other people, especially doctors and anyone that sees you unclothed, why you are bruised so bad.
- people have thought you were abused from all your bruises.
- you're asked "what's new?" and the first thing that goes through your head is the move you nailed the other day.
- you start a detailed description of your last practice with non-polers, easily forgetting that they don't know what you're talking about when you say "inverting", etc.
- you get the biggest grin whenever people ask you if you work out.
- you won't buy certain shoes because you're afraid the buckles or whatever may scratch your pole.
- your husband/boyfriend doesn't bat an eye when he walks in the room and you're hanging upside down.
- you get strange looks from people when you're going through the store shopping for work-out clothes saying things like "no there won't be enough skin showing if I get that one!"
- you have a huge bookmarks/favorites list in your web browser for pole dancing.
- you dream about pole dancing and/or pole in your sleep.
- you can dance in those 6-inch clear heels, but can't walk across the room in them.
- "Peek-a-boo" is a bad word... won't even say it to a baby.
- you have to think long and hard about how to respond to the question "So, what do you do for fun?"
- you've answered the door in your pole workout clothes and made whoever was there blush.
- you know exactly, to the second, how long it takes for you to take down your pole when company is on their way over.
- your child's behavior on the fireman pole on the playground has been the reason for several parent-teacher conferences.
- your day-time shoes are falling apart but you find yourself passing up buying "real" shoes because you would rather spend your money on hot red stilettos.
- you judge every house by its flooring and ceiling height.
- your pole gets wiped clean more often than your coffee table.
- you rate couch cushions for their cushioning ability under your pole.
- you go to your hairdresser and ask to cut your hair in a way that it may floooow when you turn your head (and even demonstrate).
- you walk into a club and instantly start wondering weather their poles are steel or chrome, spinny or static.
- you stopped using lotion because it makes you too darn silky smooth - you have tricks to do!
- you just can't find mirrors big enough.
- someone asks if your heels are stripper shoes and you say "No! Those are my workout shoes!"
- you have ever replaced carpet with a hardwood floor so you could be more stable in your heels.
- you are willing to loose you security deposit on your apartment in order to keep your crappy pole up (Peek-a-boo, Flirty Girl, etc.) despite the damage it's doing to your floors and ceiling while you're waiting for a good one to be delivered, just so you can keep poling.
- you intend to go clothes shopping for work or personal and end up searching for that perfect top or shorts to pole dance in instead of regular clothes.


Apr 11, 2011
unicorn

THIS IS SO SO TRUE... HAD ME GRINNING  !!!
Apr 11, 2011
SimpllySweet

Love it!
Apr 11, 2011
valerie98
So funny and true!!!! Love it!!
Apr 12, 2011
moonflower

Great list!

I definitely pole dance in my sleep. And in it I am freaking amazing! Then I wake up and realize it's another cold, dry daymaking leg grip impossible.

I'm also a big clutz and can't walk in my pole shoes. I have absolutely no co-ordination at all without my pole.
Apr 12, 2011
LittleMonkey

Omg this list is AMAZING!!!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing!! So true! Good job
Apr 12, 2011
mrsbaybeegurl

IN LOVE with this post ...This is the best!!!  Thanks for posting this, it gave me such a good laugh :) Can I add one more lol... "when you find your flipping your hair and practicing seated body rolls while in the car stopped at a red light"  or ummm am I the only one who does this??  [www.studioveena.com]
Apr 12, 2011
Jesster

Fantastic post! I can relate to all of this and the dancing in your car :)
Apr 13, 2011
Jenn PoleLush
I totally get all that..so funny!
Apr 13, 2011
XLauraX

" you're looking at every stop sign, lamp post, children's playground thinking, "I wonder if I can do a invert on that?""

I was out the other day and thats all that went trough my mind! 
Apr 13, 2011
unicorn

I agree Laura

I was at the park the other day with friends, who don't pole, they think I am mad when I say." look at the frame on the swings, I am so tempted to Invert" ... they think I am nuts!!


Apr 13, 2011
HollySatine

"I wonder if I can do a invert on that?"

haha I don't know if there's a day this doesn't go through my mind! Unfortunately I don't think any of the playgrounds near where I currently live have poles the right size, and it's rare to find a street sign that isn't made with one of those square metal posts that have the holes running down the sides (although I did find one and have a picture of a ckr on it on my profile!).  Lately on my way home at night I've been walking up to young trees and shaking them a bit to see how sturdy they are...I'm sure I look like a crazy person! ;b

And of course, the rest of this list is completely true too!!! :D
Apr 13, 2011
dansm8

This is an addictive sport.  Thanks for the post.
Apr 13, 2011
vipergal

So tell me, am I the only one that does hip circles in the car while driving on the highway to work and wish I could wear my stilettos to work without wiping out in the showroom?

And Yes! It is the most addictive sport!
Apr 13, 2011
inkyfingers

viper, I don't think you're alone.  I do pelvic tilts when I'm waiting at the red lights.  One way or another, I need better abs.
Apr 13, 2011
vipergal

It is by far the truest list I've seen. I am dreaming of the day I can invert on my own and do a beautiful decending angel.
Apr 14, 2011
neferes

Love the list, and will add one more...I am a nurse and work at a hospital. I do not know how many here are RN's, but the IV poles are extremelly atractive to me and every time I have the opportunity and I am ALONE! I try to move around them humming a song in my mind...Is that sick? Please tell me that some one else does it too.
Apr 14, 2011
Jenn PoleLush

Yeah, nurse here too...and you are not alone...my co-workers love it when I am setting up a patient room and I say "I'm just gonna grab a pole"...and they say..."Bring is STRAIGHT to the room"..lol

So,  no, you are not alone
Apr 14, 2011
neferes

Yeah,JennPoleL...Nurses rock!
Apr 14, 2011
Shanghai Coaster

Join the facebook group [www.facebook.com]

:)
Apr 14, 2011
UTpoler

You know you're a pole dancer when your hands are so dry the tops of them are cracked and bleeding but you refuse to put lotion on because it will make the pole slippery. 
Apr 21, 2011
senrysa

I have only been poling for a bit but I already do most of these...LOL  the one about your child in school with the fireman pole...they haven't called but I am glad my grandson only has a few more of weeks of school. He is so excited now that he can do 4 or 5 different spins...but he says he told the teacher his nana's pole spins at home.. geez.  I just smile when I go to the school on Fridays sharing time time with the kids. I think they probably think..nah she's too old to be doing that anyway must be something else.

I guess if he starts inverting this summer .... well I might have to buy anoter pole. ;-)
Apr 21, 2011
RoseMay

I know this is old, but I got a few new ones:

You know you're a pole dancer if you try to do the splits in the changing room when trying on shorts to test whether they are pole safe... and hope that no one accidentally walks into the room.

You know you're a pole dancer when you try to climb the heating tube in the lady's room at work ... just to try out how the diameter feels.

You know you're a pole dancer with some strength if you actually manage to climb that tube!

You know you're a pole dancer with a small ceiling at home if after one climb you get scared of the height and jump down.

You know you're a pole dancer if every time you meet the heating tube in the lady's room at work you silently greet it like an old friend.


Mar 26, 2012
SexyRockStarsWifeNowWidow Paid Member

LOL this is a cute thread. Thank you for this.
Mar 26, 2012
ORGANIC ANGEL

You know you're a pole dancer when you know you have pole kisses AND it isn't even something "dirty" lol
Mar 26, 2012
GiedreB Previous Paid Member

Lol, I didn't even start pole dancing yet but I already do some of these! :D Oh and... "you walk past your husband in platform heeled black boots a bra and teeny shorts and he glances at you and then goes back to whatever he was doing." I don't want that! :D
Mar 27, 2012
maurer rose

If you've ever told people you go to "dance fitness" or "aerial yoga" classes to describe pole. (Haha, I have actually been to real aerial yoga classes and it's not similar at all... but it still sounds like a decent description and is closer to the truth than what people commonly envision when they hear "pole dancing".)

If you like to practice floorwork when you are bored.

If you have ever wished you could find a place for a stretch break while you are out and about or at work.

If you isolate and roll your chest, and stomach, and booty while you are sitting in your chair at work with no one around. ;)

If you close your eyes and dance in your head when you hear the right music.

If your boyfriend thinks your flexibility is hot.

If you have more pole videos favorited on YouTube than any others.

If you have wondered if there are any movements you could incorporate into other dances, or if you have figured out how to incorporate movements from yoga or other dances.

Heh, heh...
Mar 27, 2012
maurer rose

If your boyfriend is motivated to start working out again because of the muscle tone you are getting. OH yeah!
Mar 27, 2012
RoseMay

maurer rose, if people that I don't know very well ask what sport I do I usually call it either gymnastics or acrobatics I don't want to have to explain over and over again how pole dancing is not the same as stripping ...

(and my secret place for a stretch break is - the lady's room at work or university [www.studioveena.com] I use the closed toilet for supporting my foot in hamstring stretches and the wall for quad stretches ....  )
Mar 29, 2012
stylynzy

Im LOVIN it!! :D
Mar 29, 2012
ginger78
You have your pole bag in your car at all times (shoes, towel, dry hands). You call your pole class "Vertical Dance". You go to the gym and all you think about while working out is, "Will this help me nail that move."
Mar 30, 2012
donnalee

Yes, me too, Ginger 78 on working out at the gym and thinking, "This should improve my pole fitness! I lift weights. I used to just count my reps. Wanted to get it over with. Now I count and move more slowly as I lift and lower because I now think, "Fluid slow reps will make your arms and upper body stronger so you will be able to move your body around the pole better :)
Mar 30, 2012
Raphy696

I do everything thing listed . . . This is too funny! 

 
Mar 30, 2012
SwirlyGirl
One to add: you know you are a pole dancer when you start referring to tiny booty shorts and sexy platform stilettos as "cute" : )
Mar 31, 2012
aisha reid
You're up at 12:50 and your boyfriend is drunkenly getting excited with you when a song comes on that has the right key changes for a great pole performance!! And when he spends 2 hours with his dad fixing your pole because you can't afford to get a new one. And yes-like other people have said, concentrating on strength at the gym as opposed to caring about fat loss!!
Mar 31, 2012
tiggertail Paid Member

Just happen today

... you find a pretty sport bra at 7$ and don't buy it because the strap is right on the spot for you shoulder mount...lol yes i really did that!
Mar 31, 2012
opielee
Ooh I have one,"you'd love to do some street poling on a lamp post,pole,etc...but realize that the weather is just not warm enough to do that yet,so you just do some dance moves on it,walk away from it and visualize when you will be able to do an invert on them
Mar 31, 2012
SexyRockStarsWifeNowWidow Paid Member

Soo true! I've been eyeing our basketball hoop pole for awhile now, just bidding my time until it's warm enough to do stuff on.
Apr 1, 2012
poleprincess89

you're always talking about your hip flexors
Apr 1, 2012
beaniegoesnuts

your moisturizer budget becomes your grip aid budget.
Apr 1, 2012
Anonyma

you tan on your "days off" off the pole cause it would burn the sh** out lol
Apr 1, 2012
Anonyma

copied from the original post 

- you walk past your husband in platform heeled black boots a bra and teeny shorts and he glances at you and then goes back to whatever he was doing.

 

SO TRUE LOLLLL
Apr 1, 2012
Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace
"you get ceiling height envy" So true. Every building I walk into, friends rooms, every house on TV I see, I automatically check if it has enough height for a pole. haha
Apr 1, 2012
Scarlett Honey aka Lola Grace

* You spend 90% of your time on the internet watching pole dancing videos on youtube.

* You have almost as many "friends" on facebook who you've never met before but simply share your love of pole as you do actual friends.
Apr 1, 2012
acoretacri

You finally start making those healthy goals (eat more fruits and workout) you set four years ago, because you really want to be your best poling.
Apr 4, 2012
XxMyztikxX

Someone prob used this already... But whereever u go, outside of your home, u always wanna hop on anything that looks like a pole lmao. Even if u KNOW u cant climb it. You sure as hell wanna try LMAO!
Apr 4, 2012
AmazonLady
Love this list!

You know you're a pole dancer when it takes you over 6 months to go through a bottle of lotion.
Apr 4, 2012
PersianXcursian

love the one about peek-a-boo! so true
Apr 5, 2012
muroo

haha love the one about the security deposit...I'm just gonna try to wait as long as possible before I move out of this place...
Apr 11, 2012
stylynzy

I have a few.....You know youre a pole dancer when six inch heels arent really that high anymore... when you cant stop choreographing in your head to every song you listen too... and you wear shorts cause its hot and you dont give a DAMN who sees the bruises on your legs!! :*
Apr 12, 2012
RoseMay

.... when you walk through a shopping mall and in the window of a clothing shop you see a sign: "Flexible help wanted!" and start to wonder whether they would be impressed by your splits
Apr 12, 2012
chemgoddess1 Paid Member
You search out the closest place to buy the May Penthouse magazine just to see the interview with Alethea.
Apr 12, 2012
JorgiB
When you've got to explain to the in laws whys there's a bottle of vodka and silicone sex toy cleaner on the coffee table!!!
Sep 1, 2019
 
chinatroter4311
These lessons are bringing me back to my passion of pole dancing.
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