I don't know what life will be

Runemist34
Aug 29, 2016
I came to this realization this morning... that I have no idea what my life is going to look like in 3 months time.
Seriously, there are many options, and some of them are a bit scary. I could be looking for new work (not what I want), I could simply be living very carefully, unemployed and working with the money my mom gave me (for this exact thing).
Or, I could be getting exactly what I know I need: Disability, and the chance to live my best, healthiest, happiest life becoming the writer I know I truly want to be.

That aside, however, I am doing my very best to live exactly that right now! Granted my writing isn't going well (it happens), I'll be discussing it with another writer friend tomorrow. If that meeting doesn't happen, I'll figure something out on my own! But, I am writing, no matter what. I've started to relax my idea of what it means to "be a writer," and understand that sometimes I need to write things that aren't my main book. I need to write things for fun, too! And that's what I've been doing for the past three days.
Otherwise, I have been having SO much fun at the local pole studio! Literally just filing, paperwork, and some data entry for UNLIMITED lessons and my time and mind are filling up with great classes and the feeling of moving my body, connecting, and feeling awesome. Tonight is Exotic pole class, and I've been looking forward to it all weekend!
I've realized that I am more motivated, more social, and more productive when I am not working. Now that I am finally getting past the epic burnout (seriously, it doesn't usually take more than a couple weeks for me to recover... this took about a MONTH) I was suffering under, I've found myself bored and getting stuff DONE! I just cleaned the weird places in my kitchen- you know, under the stove and fridge, behind the deep freeze. It was actually awesome!
I've been playing my harp again, catching up with friends I kept saying "Oh yeah, we'll get together soon!" to, and going out for long walks and staying active. I'm so much happier now than I have been in over half a year.

It is still a little hard to motivate myself to exercise on my own, or to do much of anything sometimes. It happens, I know that. Dealing with mental health stuff is like that- much like a physical illness, sometimes you can't do much in a day, and sometimes... well, sometimes you decide to clean all the weird places in your kitchen before noon, and you still plan to get a bunch of other stuff done, too!
Soon, I'll also have a much more comfortable time because Fall is coming, and I'm looking forward to getting away from this oppressive heat! I am sitting under the air conditioner right now- it's not even the hottest day we've had, but I just don't want to be so hot anymore!

I've also been eating much better. The more I move, the better I eat, and I've been moving lots more lately! I had my first salad in YEARS a couple weeks ago, and just can't seem to get enough. More fruit and veggies, and a little bit less chocolate (less for me, anyways!) and I'm still satisfied with it.

So... I suppose this is just a little update. Who knows what will happen in my life as things move forward? But, I know I'll keep asking for what I need, and what I know works for me. And, I'm determined to keep dancing!
AliciaPolerinaGirl I'm going through a similar situation you're not alone! keep your head up and keep dancing!
Aug 30, 2016
littlebunny93
woohoo! I just inverted on the first try into open v legs! your tutorials are GREAT TY TY TY!!!!
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