- Hello everyone,
I am quite pissed off at the moment, because I just had a very unpleasant conversation with some friends. My girlfriends and I met at a café to have a chat, and it ended with me leaving the place so angry I could knock down anyone for no reason. I'll show you the part that have made me so angry:

"What did you do yesterday?" my bestfriend Annie asked me.
"Nah, not much. Oh, I made an account at a site called StudioVeena. It's a site for pole dancers, where pros and newbies come together and share experience and stuff. It's awsome!" I said joyful.
"You don't pole dance, MJ.." Jen (my other bestfriend) said, giving me a confused look.
"No, not yet, but I'm saving up to buy an X-pole to have at home, and I've done a lot of research on the internet, to see if there was any studios around here, and to learn how to do moves, what to wear and everything.. I think pole dancing looks superfun!!" I said, and looked from Jen to Annie, who both looked at me like I had two heads and four arms or something.
"Jackie, pole dancing is for sluts!" Jen said, staring at me.
"And fat bitches who think they're sexy.." Annie added.

And that's when I raised up, told them they had no idea what they were talking about, and left the place, so incredibly angry. Can't people understand that pole dancing is more than just sexy dancing? When will they understand that lots of girls out there pole dance for the exercise, or just for fun? When will people stop being so judgemental?!

Well, at least I've got my anger out now. Thanks for letting me share this with you - I hope you see what I mean and join me in being angry

- Jackie

PoleDanceABCs - *BIG HUGS* I'm so sorry your best friends said that. Maybe when you get your pole you can have a pole party and let them try it out. Then they will see how hard it is and that is more acrobatic than anything else. I think a lot of misunderstandings in this world are because of a lack of information. Maybe give your friends some links to athletic pole dancer vids or give them the proper information so that they aren't ignorant.

yogabeachbabe - Oh Rebel, that's awful! I'm so sorry that happened, especially with your 2 best friends.

People get really threatened when someone close to them is changing. It forces them to re-assess the relationship as well as their own self view. Change really shakes things up from the roots--that's why it's so scary and exciting at the same time. Lots of people have preconceived notions as to what they think pole dancing is and also what it means to them. Lots of people are jealous of girls who can pole dance, or more importantly, are EMPOWERED ENOUGH TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT despite what society or friends might think or say. Hang in there and keep doing what is good for you. Maybe they'll see how much fun you're having and how much stronger you're getting and maybe even join you one day!

SissyBuns - I hate to see that your bestfriends would say something so hateful about something you're excited about. There is quite the stigma that comes with poe dancing and we all have probably had some issue at some point or another with someone we know giving us "the look" when we mention it. Pole is fun, empowering, strengthening, good for you and yes it can be sexy! Don't bother mentioning it to them if they have that outlook, just keep on poling and when you start walkin around all sexy and toned with all this hot confidence dripping off of you, you can tell em how you got it .

Roxy-Pink - Do you need me to bitch slap someone?????? Cuz I will!!

rubberstarlet - gezzz man.. you sure there friends? that sucks! I would be pissed off to. even to call you those words is low!
I had a run in with a so called friend like that. that bitch is at home alone with her lame boyfriend. don't let anyone talk down to you, cuz of there dumb ass brain. there prob insecure/jealous. or had a horrible past event happen with an old boyfriend, at strip club.

Layla Duvay - OMFG!!! Seriously!!??!! You had every right to be angry! I agree with all the previous posts, btw. I hate the attitudes that women have out there about other women and what we choose to do with our bodies. As an educator, it drives me nuts to hear the misuse of "slut" too. The word really denotes a woman who is unkempt and a poor housekeeper (fyi: dustbunnies" were called "slut's wool" in the nineteenth century). Such linguistic and social ignorance offends me, as it should you! On the other hand, by its proper definition, I am, admittedly, a bit of a slut, I am overweight and a bitch (as are most of the really interesting women I know), so maybe the 6" light-up plastic shoe fits...and I'll wear it gladly!

untamedshrew - I'm sorry to hear how your friends' ignorance led to saying such hurtful things to you! Just remember, this is their problem, not yours! I agree with the earlier post, let them see how hot and confident you get- you'll have the last laugh!
Seriously, perhaps they would benefit from some educating in the mean time. Don't let them bring you down or shame you! I hope you confront them about their closed minded attitudes and tell them how offensive they were. Then maybe you can offer to show them the nonstripper side of poling. Even though the exotic aspect isn't slutty, many people are threatened by women expressing their sexuality.
And if they still give you trouble, let us know! Amcut and I are the SV Enforcers, you want we should put the hurt into em?

LondonCalling - Before I even read this post I was just thinking of something that totally relates to this. What I would like to hear from friends and family once I'm prepared to share that I pole. "I may not support this particular endeavor, but I'll support you because it makes you happy" I'll settle for that, and I'm sorry that you "friends" weren't friendly enough to say that to you and just suck it up and have your back. You're a better woman than me, because I probably would've verbally sliced some heads off and then left.

Scandalicious - i'm sorry they weren't so understanding, its very aggravating when people judge things without knowing anything about the topic when i started talking about pole dancing i got a similar reaction from my boyfriend! i was super pissed! but now that i have my pole && i have made him try stuff on it he sees it as a good workout & is very supportive now. show your friends some videos of pole tricks & let them see its not BS! good luck!

violet - I hate when people are so closed minded about things, GRRR
But I also understand that their point of view is most likely going to be blurred on the subject because a not so good rep has been given to the word "pole dance" for whatever reason....
It is very aggravating tho when you have to show your friends how it REALLY is in order for them to be supportive, but unfortunately thats the way it goes in most cases.

What I would suggest is have them come over and show them some really rad videos that are your faves, that will show them the fitness aspect and the beauty that goes along with pole dancing. Hopefully them just seeing some amazing dancers will do the trick but i also suggest (and like someone else mentioned) once you do actually get your pole have them over to try it out.
I did that when first got my pole & learned a few things. My friends came over and gave it a whirl (and thought it was surprisingly hard but loved playing on it) and have since been nothing more than happy for me when I am going on and on about landing a new move or raving about this fab vid that they just HAVE to see. lol. Try it out. Hopefully all goes well for you

amcut - I guess I don't much care for the negative connotation that sluts and fat bitches have!

In my case, I'd be like, "thank god for being both, then, 'cause I LOVE ME SOME POLE DANCE".

Seriously. slut is like the female equivalent of "stud". Yes please. And fat bitch? Well. Bitches don't get walked on like nice women do. And fat? WELL. that's more of me you're not walkin' on, you ignorant ...expletive-starting-with-c.

FreeTheSun - Amcut, you're awesome.

Rebel, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Thankfully most of my friends don't ever expect anything normal from me because, in their political correct language, I'm quirky. But to convince your friends I agree with what a lot of people on here have said. Show them some cool pole videos, let them try moves once you have your pole... you could even let them act as they think people who pole do (cause you know us pole folks, we're all the same regects of society ), but when they wake up the next morning sore all over they'll know better. Even just showing one good move can be big. A pole party I taught recently asked to see some stuff so I didn't dance at all but just showed literally 2 tricks and one girl was like "wow, it's like art. I would have never thought it would be so graceful."

Some people may never understand or support but they're majorly missing out by being so closed minded. Hopefully your friends aren't these kind of people and I'm betting they'll come around. The initial shock when forced to consider that pole dancing can be done by anybody and not just "sluts and bitches" is hard for people to overcome sometimes.

SissyBuns - My husband used to feel that pole dancing was for strippers and he didnt want his wife doing that and thought it was a bad influence on our daughters. Once I got my pole and he saw me dancing and practicing dance moves he came to understand it's not what he thought it was.

PoleSkivvies - Yikes. Time to look for a new crowd of friends. And what is this attitude about it's only okay to pole if it's NOT sexy? That's nuts - everyone wants to be sexy, and everyone has the right to express that in their own way.

Meleania - OR..you could look at it as...2 more people to convert to pole dancing!

cherrymcgee - I got the same reaction too. I can’t believe how ignorant some people are. Even the one’s we think we know. I was called “kinky” for wanting to pole dance for fitness in my own home! I replied with, “Is the Cirque du Soleil kinky? How about Chinese pole dancers? How about the men who do it?” It’s not going to stop me!

xxAkiraxx - I know how what you mean! I am dying to come out of the pole closet but I'm afraid of what people may think. Although, my husband's friend came over with his girlfriend the other day and I forgot to put down my pole. When he noticed it in my family room and remarked about it my heart dropped . Oooops, I'm so used to it being there I don't even see it there anymore. It's like a piece of furniture, really! Anyway, he and his girlfriend were very supportive and just cracked some jokes about it. On another day, my husband's cousin stopped by and again I had the pole up...he saw it and asked about it. He seemed okay, just didn't want the image of me pole dancing in his head because I'm his cousin's wife. I just want it out in the open. Your girlfriend should keep her opinions to herself Perhaps she'll feel differently about it if you invited her over one day to show her how pole dancing is more than that, it's a new way of fitness, and for most people it's mental therapy (some of what she needs)!

jellycat1 - Yeah, people have that same reaction with me. then I tell them that I used to be a size 22, now I'm a size 12.

That usually shuts them up. And anwyays, "sluts and fat bitches" get to have more fun. The people who get down on me the most about pole dancing are the people (who have admitted to others) who are dying to try it and don't have the balls. So let them stew.

-

effini - I know they're wrong cause I'm a fat bitch who KNOWS i'm sexy!!

I hear a lot of people say they have problems with other people's perceptions about pole dancing. I guess the fact that I've always been "fringe", and aim to shock people, is why I couldn't care less how others react.

Enjoy your dancing. Leave the haters behind. It's YOUR life so you should do whatever the heck makes you happy!

- Thanks everyone, your support really helps To those of you that want to bitch slap my friends:
...
Go aghead!!

MPsuzziQ - GGGgrrrr! This topic seems to have opened up a can of worms with lots of us. I hate that your "friends" said what they did to you without thinking about your feelings or being open minded. It's just one of those hurdles in society that we'll eventually get over. Just wait, your friends will be the first fat sluts that can't wait to get their hands on it after you get your pole up.

Yeah, I'm a fat slut too. Damn Skippie.
But, I can hold my own weight up, flip upside down and spin around one handed not to mention arouse the HELL out of my husband. I just don't see where that's a bad thing.

- [quote="shaunya23":39evtpjn][size=150:39evtpjn] As if I give a flying fish on a friday about what anyone thinks of me.[/size:39evtpjn]

What a wonderful aptitude

water - i'm sorry that your best friends reactions wern't very kind, when they should have as they are your best frinds. i think it's up to them people to think what they think about pole dancers/ing, it's their problem if they don't agree with it...but to tell you what they did wasn't right. i hope you can eventually educate your friends how pole dancing have impacts in your life and how it makes you a stronger woman physicaly/mentally as you'll know how hot you are when you feel confident/strong and that you can tackle that pole!

i had an incident a couple months ago when i was out weeding in my front yard and a school bus rolled in...there was a shout 'HEY WHORE!' as a foreigner in the states, i thought, 'that's a wierd name? why somebody have that name?' but i didn't look up until there was another shout 'HEY WHORE SUCK MY DICK!' - this time i looked up and the young 9 year old kid yelled ' YEAH! I"M TALKING TO YOU!' that's when i realized that the shout was for me and i was the one who got named!
i was furiouse, disbelieve, it was out of my imagination. i don't know the kid(s) but i can't let them to grow up and think it's ok, so i got to the principle and we found out about the kid. anyway, in short, my good neigbor knows that i pole, she's a little conservative but she is also a good friend of mine...she prob talked about it somewhere to her daugther(whose my age) or another people, eventually to the kid's parents - and you know how words travel. i live in a very conservative area, so pole dancing is a bad,bad,bad thing in their mind...you know, being different is a sin out here.
but i am so enjoying my sinful activity that keeps me healthy and strong, so should you and every enlightened men - women who pole! YEAH!

Kisentia - Quote::The word really denotes a woman who is unkempt and a poor housekeeper (fyi: dustbunnies" were called "slut's wool" in the nineteenth century)

I am so a slut then hehe. no matter how hard I try not to be

Hopefully your friends can get to the point where they say Hey I don't approve but I support you because it makes you happy and I am your friend. You will probably need to make some new ones though that you can share your pole addiction with. It will happen even if you aren't actively looking for it.
Yeah I have had similar conversations with people about pole dance. Luckily for me most just thought it was kinky but cool that I was doing it anyway, even if they didn't get that I really was only doing it for fitness and fun. I have tons of supportive friends and family members though. Except my mom. She is alright with it. I can talk about looking for a job or whatever but she will see a bruise and ask how did you get that ? and promptly say oh wait never mind don't tell me. LOL Bellydance was another one I had to fight for several years back, now it is everywhere. Seems I start a workout right before it becomes the newest trend every time without fail.

Water that is horrible! And to think a 9 year old said that! wow... just...wow

Blondtacular - That's some pretty ignorant crap to say.

Unfortunately, I myself have been the one to say that anyone who dances on a pole is a slut. This of course, was before I actually educated myself on what pole dancing really was. Unfortunately though, anyone who does pole dance is going to automatically be labeled as something along the lines of a "stripper" "slut" "whore" etc. Why?

Because that's how society is and standing on both sides, I can understand why a lot of people call pole dancers "slutty." I've been to a lot of clubs and have seen some really unappealing things that other girls do when they're on stage. I won't go into detail, but I'm sure most of you can imagine what I'm talking about.

A lot of people look at the negatives about pole dancing and never look at the positives. It's hard work to stay on the pole for any length of time. People can say "Psh, I can take off my clothes and dance around on a pole..." blah blah blah. But you never see them do it, because they know they probably couldn't even do a simple spin, much less have the guts to do it in the first place. They're just talking shit.

As much as it will anger you time and again, just tell them that they should educate themselves, before talking all that shit. Tell em to look up someone like FELIX CANE on youtube and show them that pole dancing can be just as beautiful as any other style of dancing. So if you feel bad, just know that we've all been there. ;o)

jalin - Hahhahahahahahahah! Sorry girl, but you really made me laugh!!! You should have laughed too!! I remember one of mine recent conversation with my girlfriend too:- I pole dance for fun and fitness! - Yeah right, STILL it'a strip pole! You can't not be porn! -Yeah right! Watch me! And showed her a really sport version of pole dance Hahahahah! She was speachless lol - So, did I make you hot? lol

You shouldn't take it so personal.
I'm lucky to also have a lot of girlfriends that encourage me and really apreciate what I do.
But I know I'll get that reaction you got anytime now, so I don't care anymore.

Be strong on your decisions and don't let anyone get u down anymore!

And get that pole so we can see your stunning vids here!!!
kisses

carriej - The preconceived notions are out there. I read somewhere that pretty much no matter what 1/3 of people will love you (or what you do), 1/3 of people will hate you and 1/3 of people haven't made up their minds! Seems the same with pole! It's funny that my mom is one of the only people who really gets my pole stuff. She was used to me doing similar moves way up in the air when I was rock climbing, so I think she's just relieved! Anyway, I'm with Poleophile! Since in my mind BITCH stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself maybe we should acronym SLUT too! (Sexy Lovable Unique Type?) Then, yup, "if the 6 inch plastic platform fits wear it!"

Blondtacular - [quote="carriej":19c70cx5]The preconceived notions are out there. I read somewhere that pretty much no matter what 1/3 of people will love you (or what you do), 1/3 of people will hate you and 1/3 of people haven't made up their minds! Seems the same with pole! It's funny that my mom is one of the only people who really gets my pole stuff. She was used to me doing similar moves way up in the air when I was rock climbing, so I think she's just relieved! Anyway, I'm with Poleophile! Since in my mind BITCH stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself maybe we should acronym SLUT too! (Sexy Lovable Unique Type?) Then, yup, "if the 6 inch plastic platform fits wear it!"


ROFL!!!!! I love that acronym. I'm totallying stealing it. And you're totally right about the preconcieved notions. It's out there. Everyone's going to stick you in that stereotype until you prove them wrong. So til then, just keep doing your thing. Meh!

TaraKarina - I think as time goes on it'll become accepted by the majority of people, i got some funny comments from friends and family when i told them about it "thats for slappers" BUT some jut said "hell yeah go for it, how cool!"
Anyone who has a video on youtube or any other video site i'm 99.9% sure you've had a negative comment about your weight, (i get skinny which annoys me like hell!) appearence, or the fact everyone seems to know about your sexual going's on, why do people assume because we pole dance we sleep with multiple men???
I've learnt to hit the remove button on youtube, once the comments not there it's gone! shame people don't come with remove buttons eh? lol

pole-twista - omg where to start??..
1st maybe your friends need to look up the meaning of friendship.
i don't believe it involves making the person feel bad or try to shame them for their personal choices.
i have a friend who has chosen to do something i strongly disagree with , but i love her for who she is and i suppourt her, even if not her desicion.
2 i'll bet these chicks are secretly jealous of the girls they're trying to put down, including you.
i seriously want to hear the argument of why women shouldn't participate in a sport/art/hobby that encourages physical fitness, confidence, play, creativity, suppourt from others with this intrest, and allows you to explore diffrent sides of yourself.
seriously. someone tell me. working at a strip club when you have to snort drugs and get intoxicated to get thru... yes i see how unappealing that image is, but if your on stage bc you love it , ITS A FREE FKN COUNTRY SO GET USED TO It!!!!!!!!
wether your in your home, a club, or whereever. its YOUR body to use as YOU see fit.
3 exuse my language, but if dont want to be "artful" and "gracful" if i want to be a GIANT FUKIN SLUT and dance around totally nude except tit tassles and stillettos how is this anyones concern????????
i'm not going to be doing this in a park, so GET OVER YOURSELF! UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
i just want to give these chicks a piece of my mind!!!!!!
4th why dont you tell these narrow minded, insecure, judgmental little girls to come take a look out here and see how this 1 hobby or whatever has brought you in touch with such a huge community of LOVING< S_U_P_P_O_R_T_I_V_E, KIND< HELPFUL< ENCOURAGING TOTALLY AMAZING POLE DANCING people you'll probably find anywhere..
let them see what we really are... GIFTED< UNIQUE< TALENTED< ******BEAUTIFUL***** PEOPLE.
you can try to educate them, or you can drop them, but dont let them for 1 second make you feel the slightest bit bad for what you enjoy. we know better.

PhillyPoleJess - Is in love with being a slutty fat bitch and is glad most of her friends are too!

mariemoocow - pretty soon you will be much better looking than them and they will all wish they could pole dance like you

eudoxia - Jackie, i understand the feeling. People tend to talk like that when they don't understand, instead of just shutting their pretty little mouth!!!! It happened to me when i told a couple of friends, first they were like: "What the hell is a pole?" and when I told them something about it and showed them some vids (not stripper vids, I SHOWED THEM FELIX'S CANE AND JAMILLE'S DEVILLE VIDS) they went "Ok, so you'll become a slut then"... It even happened with my boyfriend (that was a surprise, i thought he would be thrilled) but when he saw my progress he was like: "Ok, so the dance works... your body has changed also, and it's so sexy". The thing is that some people don't have the sensibility to apreciate things like this... i don't even bother in getting angry anymore, and when they apreciate it they do it only in the sexual dirty way, leaving behind the benefits and artistic BEATIFUL side pole dance has. Kisses girl, don't get mad, and if you do... drain it when you dance, if you still don't dance then do floor work, even if it comes out of your imagination, or look up a video and do what you see in it.

morgana - Girl, please....lol

First off....just laugh. Don't waste all that joyful energy spent being angry. You gotta focus, girlie, cause when you're friends finally get the chance to see the pole, hear the music, and convince you to show 'em some moves they will ooooooh and ahhhhhh over it and forget ever having been hateful...so you gotta rock it out!

Plus, for me, tell them thank you. If I wasn't ever a dirty girl for my husband, after 10 years of marriage, our sex life would be so dull....so hell yeah I'm a dirty little slut at times...just for PJ and you know what he said??? Thank god for all the dirty girls out there who do pole dance! He said next time your friends say something like that just ask them how good their sex life could be if they weren't ever willing to tap into a more sensual part of themselves & look good doing it....

Just keep on keeping on!
Morgana

DollyDelicious - Wow, this thread is really popular. Same thing as happened to Jackie happened to me. So to hear all you confident, pole dancing women put Jackie's friends back in place makes me really happy ^^

We go, girls!!

Poledancefan - Morgana's got it down just right, I think!

There are a few situations where I'd rather the subject of pole not come up (at work, at the in-laws)--it's just that much harder to deal with being a guy. But for the most part I laugh it off.

As for the lurid, sexual aspect of the pole stereotype--well, at this point in my life ANYTHING that makes me seem exciting or interesting is a welcome source of fun and humor. I just laugh that off, too. Male stripper? "Oh yes, of course...how else am I going to pay off my kid's college loans?" I tell them!

And tons of adoring male and female fans and an exciting and unparalleled sex life? "Oh yes, absolutely...hundreds of adoring fans, male and female, lined up around the block, ready to do anything!"

I mean seriously...what is the matter with people? I spend most of my day reviewing medical charts, reading numbers off of gauges and checking the lids on garbage dumpsters at hospitals! If people want to imagine pole dancers as sex gods, more power to them, LOL! Honestly, I think it is a projection of their own fantasies and desires. Maintain a strong internal compass and decide what is right for you. Next year, your friends will want a pole lesson!

Joel

morgana - Hey Joel-

I'm a fan of anyone who is willing to step outside of a comfort zone and do something f-ing fantastic!!! Tell 'em all you have 1 for sure fan all the way in Germany!!!

ShellBellz - I';m sorry you had to deal with that!!!! It is so frustrating to deal with non-polers. A lot of people really just don't understand. Don't give up. Pole your heart out!!!

hessolastyear - my mom and sister had the same type of reaction but then i had them come over and try it and showed them some videos...lets just say my mom and sister no longer think that way lol if your friends care about you they will come around

Serzi - Wow, that was not very supportive or "friendly" of them in my book. To be honest, I think that they may either be a little jealous of you for wanting to start something that they've obviously never had the guts to try themselves or they could just be those miserable clique bitches who drag everybody down. For your sake (if they are your best friends) I hope it's just a matter of ignorance on their part. Still, what a horribly nasty thing to say to a good friend who is all bright eyed and excited to talk about a new interest!

No worries, girl, don't let their negative outlook discourage you. When you get up there on that X-pole for the very first time just think of how you are doing this for yourself. You will have all of us cheering you on (a'course, haha! =D) but always keep in mind that the only person whose opinion is ever truly going to matter is your own. I guarantee, if you keep at it, you will not only impress but amaze yourself with your progress. You will become very strong, agile, and fit with time and persistence. You will be able to do moves that you never thought your body was capable of and it will feel great every time you succeed.

On a personal note, there is no Bowflex, treadmill, or gym membership I've ever had that made me feel as accomplished and healthy as my X-pole has. It is the only workout routine that I've derived noticeable results from that hasn't bored me to tears. I feel like a living piece of art when I pole, I love it, and the thoughts of small-minded people do not concern me. I know that the physical abilities required of what I do deserves just as much merit and respect as that of any ballerina, cheerleader, or gymnast...perhaps more.

Hang in there, girl, and if they ever take up Tango lessons be sure to inform them that particular kind of dance was first performed in brothels. LOL

?Serzi

kklove - girl....breathe first, then calmly tell your socalled friends to kick rocks...lol I mean it too...if they cant support you on something like this to boost your health and self esteem overall then you are better off. My mom hung up on me when i told her my latest hobby but that didnt stop me. i laughed it off especially when she was forced to call me back by her friend to ask me when she can take lessons herself...lol. no many will not understand but thats their problem not yours. do you mamaz....stay positive.

and yes to add to RoxyPinks comment...i can also backhand a couple of folks too if need be just let me know ::scchhhmmmmmmACK::

Ava macKenzie - lol sorry to hear that but thats funny. My hubby said something to me that got me riled up but I laughed it off:

Hubby: Whats with you middle aged women and pole dancing? Are you having a mid life crisis?
Me: Excuse me? Middle aged? Dude, I'm 30, I just entered adulthood! Plus I havent reached my median age of life yet...talk to me when Im 60.
*chuckles*

Porshka -

Arg!  I am so sorry your friends were so judgmental!  I HATE it when people use the word, "slut" ever - it offends me the way the C-word offends most women.  And what about the "fat bitches" comment!?  Jeez!  There are just so many aggravating things about that conversation.  

At least you are in good company here where no one is going to judge you.  Welcome to the site!

Blaque Diamond -

Long and short of my opinion on this: ahem...

 

f*** them ignant azz b******.  Serioulsy.

 

Okay let me be nice. Perhaps you can show them what studioveena is all about. yes, they've offended you, but this is an opportunity to open up some minds. Show them some videos like natasha wang, pantera blacksmith, etc... encourage them to come to a studio with you, or even come play on your pole at home!  If you respond negatively they will continue to believe that its something bad.

Im sorry this is something that you had to go through. That was a very nasty approach.

UTpoler -

Well I guess I'm a proud slut and fat bitch then.  :D  Hahaha.  There are going to be haters and those who don't get it...but you won't care cuz you'll be all kinds of awesome sauce.  :)

ninjachic - A: in the correct definition I an most definitely a slut. In the more common denotation, I have been called one... And it was likely true at the time... *blush* and right now, I'm kinda fat, but I still look good and get hit on, sooooo... ;)
B: you are probably prettier than them from the get go, especially on the inside!
C: it's obviously not just for us fat sluts (and apparently middle aged fat sluts ?!? ) since men do it (Chinese acrobatics)
D: who says there's an age limit? What, only 19 year Olds get to be sexy.and fit and have fun doing what they like??
E: the most important...
Those who really care for you, don't mind. Those who mind, really don't care for you.

ninjachic - So weird... When I click on the OPs profile link it goes to mine.... I experimented to make sure, and sure enough every time it goes to mine... O.o

Lina Spiralyne -

The same happens here when I click on the original posters "profile pic", it goes to my own profile. Maybe the OP:s has closed her account?

chemgoddess1 -

The original post for this was in 2009.  Most likely that member is no longer here.

NickyNak -

Friends are meant  to be suppoertive of their friends decisions. I know when I say to someone I pole dance for fitness they pull a face and say...."ha fitness yeah right how can you pole dance for fitness its something you do for men".....NOOOOOO it bloody isn't I dont invite Men into my house when Im praticing or ask for money for dancing, therefor, I pole dance for fun and for my own fitness, I don't do it to entertain even my other half.

So sorry they feel that away about it but you should have the pole party and they will soon change there mind once they see how much fun it is hun.

Good luck hope everything sorts itself out :) xxx

Suzara -

Yes, old post, but I think we all have a story or two.  I met a gal at the rec center.  We started meeting twice a week to walk the track.  She invited me to her house...I expressed to her how excited I was to have just bought a pole.  I told her I was so excited by how much fun it was because it's so challenging and OMG so fun, fascinating.  She gave me a really odd look. 

Come on, I'm 49, really it's pretty evident I am not a stripper (nothing against strippers).  She won't talk to me now.  She texted me later saying working out on those days we were meeting was no longer working for her.  I should have discussed the issue, but didn't.  I regret that.   

I emphasize to everyone I talk to about the physical challenges of poling.  It's hard!!  I do this because people need to be aware that poling is very popular for women of all ages now.  There's probably 6-12 clubs in the Denver area that now teach pole.  It's a beautiful challenging art.  The more we talk about, the more people will change their perception.

It's been the same experience for me as a belly dancer.  I have been belly dancing for 15 years.  Now it's more popular than ever and most people have seen gals dance and know it's not a slut dance. 

mspretty1414 -

It seems to me that when another woman holds the perception that pole dancing is 'slutty' it's not an honest opinion, it's a lack of self-esteem and jealousy on her part.  I find this holds true with a lot of things.  If us women would just stop hating on each other and being jealous we could accomplish so much more, we can be each other's worst enemies at times.

PersianXcursian -

I'm sorry that happened to you :( especially because they are people you are close to. I had a close friend who originally was really insistent that pole dancing was for strippers and degrading to women. she said it was something she would never do and that she didn't need it to boost her confidence.

Back in February, I took her to my studio's in-studio competition and she watched all of the performances including me and some extremely advanced girls who had been doing it for a few years. Needless to say, by the end of the night she was like "wow, I had no idea that it required so much strength, flexibility, and skill. you guys were amazing! that is so cool that you can do all that!" She then proceeded to hand me a nice gift for performing and bought me ice cream after. Later on, after I got my own pole, she even gave it a try!

Sometimes it takes them seeing for themselves exactly what pole dancing is all about so if you were to show them youtube videos or take them to a competition it might change their mind. I'm also in the process of converting my Iranian father who at first was like "F%@# no you will not be getting on a pole!" to "okay you can have your own pole"

willowbreath -

Wow....I'm baffled to read about all the close-minded "friends" people have. I'm sorry for all of you who have lost friends over this...I cannot imagine they were true friends anyway. How superficial of anyone to judge any of you just because they don't agree with your method of exercise. Hell even if they thought you had decided to go balls out and start stripping, what effing business is it of theirs?? People continually destroy my faith in equality of treatment.

lavona82 -

That made me angry just reading it. I hope they come to their senses and realize the truth. Hang in there.

Vertical - Pole dancing is becoming more and more mainstream. Your friends are just a bit ignorant to it at this stage . If you bring them to a showcase they will understand . That's what I did to my partner, family, friends even colleagues.

Modelesque -

wow @poleshimmy, I mosied on over to your profile because I could not fathom how someone who makes comments like yours could possibly be on this site and lo and behold! Another negative comment. "How does pole dancing boost someone's confidence"? Really? Quick question: why THE HELL are you here? Seriously? Unless you are a professional troll, then by all means carry on, I was just curious though.

StudioVeena -

Just ignore Poleshimmy. No need to waste our energy. But you guy's are all awesome!   

PowerTwirl -

poleshimmy-the same way doing any other activity boosts someones confidence. You make accomplishments learning new tricks, same as any other form of dance. Are you f*ing retarded?

ThatGirl99 -

Like every creative endeavor one may undertake in life. The number of people who will NOT GET IT, will outnumber those who do, most likely.  Everything you do in life should be because YOU want to for yourSELF, therefore any negative opinion shouldn't stop you. Of course it hurts when it comes from a friend but the nature of this particular Art Form is that it suffers unnecessarily from ignorant scrutiny by closed-minded or fearful individuals. Consider this philosophy: when someone is insulted or rejects something they know nothing about, they reveal to YOU their own ignorance...and in many cases Fear. I find, with all things creative, often self righteous people find themselves constantly insulted and "bothered" by all they FEAR.  do your own thing girl, and challenge yourself for your own reasons. Never let opinions of those outside yourself knock you off track.

ThatGirl99 -

Oh duh...this post is so old the user may not even BE here any longer. I regretted to note the dates on all of these replies..BETTER off sticking to Positive topics, y'all...Im off to workout now. have a great day

shimz -

we must understand that there is a stereotyped history.we are here to educate them the ignorant  and  uninformed.i was the first in our place so i had a hard time but i was expecting that! its not an easy world,but if u have passion in what u do.go work hard and show them that they will be green with envy!and the last laugh will be yours darling!