What Love & Pole Dancing Have In Common
Just as in love, pole dancing requires VULNERABILITY; the capacity to surrender the protective armor that prevents us from getting hurt. In pole dancing, however, vulnerability puts us at risk, not just emotionally, but physically too.
"Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right." Henry Ford
What stands in the way of our vulnerability? FEAR (false. evidence. appearing. real.) Fear stifles our greatest potential by keeping us stuck in our comfort zone. And it's far easier to nurture our fears and insecurities than to muster the courage needed to relinquish them. It's ironic but, we find safety in such a fearful existence, although our dreams may elude us.
One way we nurture our fears is by allowing negative mental chatter to persist. We somehow convince ourselves that "I'm too weak", "I'm too heavy", "I'm too uncoordinated", or "I'll never be as good as __________________". Before even daring to attempt something new, we've persuaded ourselves into believing that we can't. Yet, underneath that fear we know that, what we really want, is to become some badass pole trixter. So to rationalize and defend our safe choice, we detach ourselves from our dreams. Just as those afraid of falling in love pretend that relationships are over-rated, we do the same with the pole tricks we consider to be the impossible dreams.
When negative mental chatter reminds us that, "'I'm not sexy", "I'm not graceful","I'm not creative", or "I can't dance", we also detach ourselves emotionally by turning pole dance into a mechanical experience; completely devoid of individuality or self-expression. We hide behind technical proficiency rather than allowing ourselves to feel the music and slink, slither and slide through space. We deny ourselves the pleasure of experiencing our own sensuality. Yet pole dancing without emotion is like love without passion.
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt
When we finally find the strength of surrender and face our fears as pole dancers, we're granted this euphoric BLISS that, dare I say, mimics love. Our vulnerability produces strength, courage and confidence that ushers us towards our greatest goals; even mastering that which first seemed impossible. So, as the negative mental chatter dares shatter our dreams, we replace those words with "I am strong", "I am flexible", "I am sexy", "I am capable", "I am unique", "I am creative", and "Damnit, I am an amazing pole dancer!". We embrace our strengths, recognize our progress and continue to take action toward our goals in pole dancing (& in love).
"Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear." Norman Vincent Peale
Indie Girl Love Adventures is raw, honest and relatable to anyone that's ever experienced love & heartbreak.